I hope IT jUST A Nightmares..

i never woke up in the morning at feel like this..last night i had a nightmares..i hope it will just a nightmares..it featured me n encik scandal..oh shit..i never feel this scared..seriously..first thing i did bile i bukak mata is to check my hp..c if i really got sms from encik scandal or i did press his number..gile kentang aku ketakutan..then check my mail.just to make sure i didnt receive any mail from him....

the nightmares goes like this..sumhow its bout me n my encik scandal la..he went back ere for sum reason dat i didnt know..he always like dat..n suppose we meet up..n im waiting his call like a lovebird on her 1st date...he was telling me dat we gonna met..but smpi ptg dia x smpi2..tetiba i dpt sms cakap he terlajak pergi sampai ke besut with his 'boyfriend'.memula kononnye nk ke tasik banding jew..but ntah camne trus ke besut and he said dat we're not going to meet.i was so pissed off la kan..org tg dia balik cam bertahun..last2 pegi seronok2 n i cancel all my seronok2 plan because of him..n macam biasa he called me nk pujuk la..n i dah x boleh terima la cos tahap kemarahan n kecewa tuh dah tinggi gile.

i told him..i dont care..pegila mn dia nk pegi ngan BF dia tuh..who am i kan..i hang up the phone..i shut all the communications with him..like ignore his phone call,smses,YM etc(sebijik mcm reality waktu aku ada salah paham ngan dia last few months).the next day tuh i dapat surat..pjg gile n handwritten..it was from encik scandal..he explain to me wut happen, saying dat he can never say no to his 'BF' bile diajak ronda2..tmbh2 ade geng2 lain yg nk ke besut..so dia pon ikut je la.then he wrote sumthing like dis

i jarang jupe *** .bile i kuar ngan diorg..i leh release tension..ape u igt kalu u call i b4 dat pon i nk patah balik kew? sorry la..u mean nothing to me..compare *** n u, u just my selipar buruk..it's convinient for me to wear n bring to any place i want..but its just a selipar in the end..if i lose u, i dont feel a thing. Jgn sangke u can influence my life.enjoy the pic dat i took along the way. u jangan perasan sgt.u are nothing.i will keep u understand where r ur place in my life..kalu u x puas hati u can email me or sms me.

cam haram je kan isi kandungan surat tu N there's a lot of piccas from his trip..n i was so pissed off dat i try to call him dat he never pick up..then suddenly alarm i berbunyi. I terjaga n first thing i buat, i checked the hp..hahaha..i sgt2 tkt..i x sangka i ni selipar buruk jew..tetiba i mcm balik ke dunia reality..n realize mayb i am the selipar buruk..

i slalu doa God to give me a hint n guidence,, n whenever i dream of encik scandal..it never a nice one..seriously i x tipu..it might b sweet dream but not the end..tp aku rs..aku bukan jenis yg mendesak dia..or nk amik tau semua bende psl dia..sb aku xnk dia rs terbeban n fed up ngan aku.aku mmg control suma perangai2 bossy,mengada2 aku..sekali je aku buat hal.itu pon sb aku dah terasa hati sgt..betul org kata perasaan insecure ni boleh membunuh segunung konfiden yg ade..asal la aku nk insecure sgt..i know the truth n all the facts lies between my eyes kan..aku dah tau ape sebenarnye..but still aku takut..mayb because the truth is not as nice as wut i want it to be...mimpi aku ni sebenarnye x jauh pon dari reality perhubungan kitaorg..but y i stay?..ITS COMPLICATED...I have only 1 solution for this matter..and currently working n pray for it to happen..insyallah..it will help me to get rid from his life..in the correct way n nice ending for both..